So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
