My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
