Small penises have feelings too.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
