His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
