You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
