I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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