One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize