Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
