Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
