i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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