So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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