her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
