dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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