I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
