I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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