24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
