Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize