Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
