was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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