I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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