I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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