That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
