i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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