Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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