Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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