drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
