i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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