My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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