Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
