We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
