aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
