Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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