nut hugger
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Randomize
