Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
