he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
