Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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