i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
