She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
