im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just invented taco cereal.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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