She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
