Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize