I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
