Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
