he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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