yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize