Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
