Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize