I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
