can u get pink eye on your cock?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
