exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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