Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
