did you get engaged???
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
