she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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