Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
