If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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