it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
