Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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