I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize