And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
