I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
