just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
