I heard we made out
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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