i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
how drunk are you?
Several
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
