I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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