Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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