so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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